Horrible realization about men creepshots gave me that actually has me in tears
It’s not about sex - they have porn, they have as much fucking porn as they could possibly ask for
they have billboards and ads and primetime tv shows and hollywood movies and websites free videos magazines they have porn channels porn movies with sexy images of women
they have girls on websites who are paid to webcam with them
there are girls who post sexy pics of themselves online for them
none of this is enough, none of this is, at the bottom of it all, what they want
creepshots specifically says this isn’t enough - they don’t want pics of girls knowingly posing (i.e. giving consent)
they want to violate, they want to rape, they want to own every woman walking down the fucking street
they want your teenager daughter, they want your mom, they want you
when you don’t know it, when you can’t say no, when you’re on the bus, when you’re walking down the street, when you’re at the beach
they get off on your violation, they want more proof that women exist for them and them alone
it’s sexy because it’s embarrassing, humiliating; they say it themselves
this is rape culture in its purest form
because women saying yes on screen, women saying yes to their faces, saying yes on their computers, on their phones is not what they want
that’s not “hot” enough
what’s hot is violating your consent, what’s hot is demeaning you, what’s hot is owning a piece of you against your will
and they won’t stop until we are all pornography
Yup. This is what I say so much. It’s like why so many guys on OkCupid don’t just look for other girls who want hook ups when that’s what they want. They go after women who want relationships and say on our profiles we don’t want hook ups, and lie to us, pressure us, try to push or trick us into meeting them for a date so on the date they can try to get us to go back to their place. There’s so much stuff online teaching men how to do this too, as if there aren’t women who’d be okay with just sex. But for these guys it’s not just about that. They don’t want women with agency, women who are also using them for sex and would be interested in her own pleasure, they don’t want women they don’t feel that they’re in control of. They want to feel that they’re leading us, tricking us, and ultimately that they feel like they’ve accomplished something. You can even see it in the way “seduction” sites talk about women, the bragging that goes on in the comments. They don’t want a woman that says “sure, let’s fuck, and I like it this way and let’s negotiate our sexual pleasure”, they want to feel they turned the reluctant woman. They want to feel like they convinced us to do something we didn’t want to, or we don’t normally do. That’s why so many guys on OkC I run into have nearly blank profiles. Some of them have actually just outright said that if they put stuff then some women won’t be interested in them and they want to lie about their interests when they talk to us, so we think they’re a match. It’s not about meeting a woman with mutually compatable desires, it’s about making a woman who doesn’t want it, “want” it (or just making us have sex, for these guys rape seems like a legal technicality, if they can legally not be raping us it doesn’t matter if we really wanted it or just did it under pressure/coercion).
And the creepshots thing is the same. They don’t want porn given to them. They want to TAKE porn. They want to do something they KNOW we don’t want. Porn made for them is made by willing women who know men are going to look at them. This makes them feel less powerful and in control. Taking shots of us that we don’t want, that we don’t know are being taken, puts them back in the seat of the hunter, and back in control.
As the OP says, this is exactly rape culture. It’s a culture that tells men that they should TAKE sex, or sexual gratification, not have it given. That women have sexual power, and you’re in their power if you have to wait for them to “give” you something, that then they’re in control. This is also where the whole friendzone thing comes from, and all the “women have privilege because they can deny sex” narratives. In a patriarchal rape culture, consent is seen as assumed, and that women can say “no”, that men have to wait for a woman that says “yes” or has to consume porn of women who are making it for mass consumption and not just them, feels like charity, like we’re in control, or they’re being REALLY NICE by letting us “deny” them sex. They see sex as something they should have, and women are just putting barriers in their way, and backing off means they’ve failed, pushing past those barriers makes them a success and having “won” or “taken” something from the woman.
(With credit to summer-of-supervillainy for her thoughts about rape culture & helping me with the framing of that last paragraph)
The predator/prey metaphor is particularly telling. They’re not looking for a member of their own species who’s interested in doing the same thing they are. The bird mating dance comparisons are vastly overshadowed by the hunter or predator comparisons. They’re not looking for women who will choose them. They’re looking for prey, and only by defeating the prey and harming the prey do they get what they want.
In there world, there aren’t women who want to have sex with them and women who don’t want to have sex with them. There are just women who are easy to get, and women who are hard to get. Women’s role is that of an obstacle course, and the thing determining whether a man has sex with a woman isn’t what she wants, but whether he has the skill and endurance to get through her obstacles. And more obstacles just means his skill and stamina is greater, his obstacle-course feat is more impressive, and he achieves an more satisfactory underdog victory.
Women don’t get to consent or not consent. They just get to try their hardest to defend themselves. And the men are certain that at the end of the obstacle course is sex, they just need to figure out the best tactics to get it - through lying, manipulation, pressure, intimidation, or just grinding her down until she’s too tired and sick to fight. To this mindset, a woman’s consent (or a woman’s desires, humanity, and agency) is just another obstacle between him and sex.
This is rape culture.
Yup. And I think that because to these guys, sexual attraction and sex is so predatory, a woman with sexual agency, who chooses THEM and who might have wants of her own, is scary to them, because then they’re also the prey. This woman has sexual desires that she might want to exercise on them that they don’t want, or that she might say no to things they want and just leave. Because they see sex as being a lopsided power dynamic, they don’t want a participant just as willing as them because then they might have to cede power, or lose it, and then she’ll have power.
Exactly. A woman with agency and desire isn’t just an interchangeable robot that plays her role in their script. Her lines aren’t just fill-in-the-blank chatter, they actually change the outcome.
Men get this weird idea that their sexual/romantic success can be measured on a universal, linear scale. It’s the obstacle course thing - either he bypasses a number of obstacles, or he doesn’t. So when they’re rejected, they assume that women have judged them to be objectively worthless, lacking, and failing at the “obstacle course” that other men have passed or might pass. Instead of just that those particular women have the same kind of agency and individual desire that he does.
Anonymous asked: New Anon! Allison's actions absolutely contributed to Erica's death -- and Allison had no reason to believe that Erica or Boyd had anything to do with her mother's death. They aren't alphas. The only one who could have had anything to do with Victoria's death (besides, Victoria herself, who chose to die for her bigotry) was Derek. Allison targeted Boyd and Erica because Gerard and her grief had corrupted her into thinking that all werewolves had to die. Not much better than Peter, IMO.
i’m so sorry, but i have no interest in hearing logic that both slates Allison’s character, the seventeen year old that went through a shitty time and dealt with it in a similar way to Derek and was crucified by fandom, and then compares it to that of Peter Hale, who, to the best of our knowledge, was a manipulative shit when Derek was a kid, and remains a manipulative shit, for absolutely no reason.
of course, i’m sure the time will come when he’s given one, and we’ll all drown in his man pain, but until then, let’s not try and shit on Allison’s character any more than we have for the past two seasons?
i know she stabbed Isaac with two knives. i know she shot Erica and Boyd with arrows, and i am obviously very disappointed in her behaviour. i would totally have sent her to her room, or you know, talked to her about it. it’s so unfortunate we can’t just sweep it under the table and let this debate go. seeing as how the last anon pointed out, Isaac and Derek have forgiven her (very gracious of them, super well handled by both parties, definitely no acknowledgement from either of them about trying to murder her best friend, channelling all that sad rejected crush feelings into killing her and/or killing her mom. like Derek killed her mom. take out the fact Victoria was trying to kill Derek— because ofc bad stuff there— he still took away a seventeen year old kid’s mom, and nobody knows how that feels more than Derek Hale, you know? gotta remember that. Derek Hale has pain. he ofc can’t ever acknowledge that he’s done a lot wrong himself.
it’s not like Allison hasn’t been through the wringer about it ever since, not like she’s beaten herself up about it, or tried her damndest to keep the same werewolves who were involved in trying to hurt her and her friends weeks before ALIVE shortly after.
compare that to say, any of the male characters on the entire show who have never stopped to say “oh yeah, my bad, sorry for; using your body as a weapon; shoving you around because i don’t know how to say please nicely; murdering your sister; using a kanima to try and kill all of you”
wow, so surprising of people to be real understanding if it’s Peter or Derek or the TWINS, but yeah let’s compare Allison to the guy that murdered his own niece and call her actions just as bad.
tell me more
hogwartsisbiggerontheinside asked: I wouldn't really judge the next episode yet, that place is obviously haunted/connected with the nogitsune or Lydia and Stiles wouldn't have been drawn to it. It's not just some average mental hospital.
it doesn’t matter
stiles is a minor
you don’t go to a freaking american horror story hospital - it’s poor and lazy writing. it’s the writing staff going to the tropy stereotype for horror appeal rather than framing mental health care as positive environment. it’s very triggering to a lot of people.
as someone who has watched two of her grandparents die in hospitals when they weren’t mentally aware, i find this all horrible and in poor taste. i judge the writers for not being smart writers. they’re lazy writers. the decrepit mental hospital with violent orderlies who abuse their patients is a well used trope in horror but it’s not one that i want being perpetuated. bad enough that teen wolf casting used ableist language when they were shooting this episode. i am not happy this is the direction the writing is taking for the show. it’s lazy and insulting
the dramatic punchline of the location will not add to the storyline
Basically, yes to all the above.
Teen Wolf isn’t even special with this. Someone made a post about mental health institutions in USA after watching Sleepy Hollow, if I’m not mistaken. I lost the link, but.
Not everything in a show has to be a virgin story or plot device. Teen Wolf is all about digging up the classics, they’ve had shout outs to gingersnaps/ american werewolf in london/ buffy/ etc. The majority of tv shows do this. “Tropes” are not always (in fact not usually) bad things
the term classic doesn’t mean it should be revived or rebooted. a lot of tropes are harmful stereotypes. it’s 2014, time for a new trope